I had a very vivid dream during the night between 24th-25th of December.
My (33f) dreams are vivid and animated in general, but this one shaked me awake and stayed with me all day – hence why I'm writing it here.
For context, I'm from the arctic and I have never been to south Asia. I've never given birth and I've chosen not to have children. I have two sisters and distant relationships to my mother.
In my dream: I was lying in bed of a decorated bedroom. There were orange and yellow tassels and flowers in my room and around the bed. I could smell incense and spices. I was heavily pregnant and in agony, it was so hot and I was uncomfortable. My two sisters were there, however, they did not look like MY sisters, they were south Asian ladies with tanned skin, long gorgeous black hair and bindis on their foreheads. But I still recognised them as my younger sisters. They were cooling me down with cold damp cloths on my forehead while I was aching all over.
Suddenly, I felt the bed getting wet. I felt it with my hand and I said to my sisters "I think my water just broke". The damp was reaching my back and my sisters called for our mother. My mum – this lady in gorgeous turquoise sari, rushed in to the room. I don't recognise her as MY mum, but she was my mum. I told her that I think I'm about to give birth and that I'm scared and I want her to be there with me.
Suddenly, we're at a hospital. It's clinically clean and white all over. My mother was there with me. The contractions were horrendous and took ages. I was in agony while my mother was trying to keep me calm.
Finally, the actual birth didn't take long at all and I gave birth to twin boys.
The doctor was there while I looked at the two fussing naked babies. All I could think of was "No. I don't want this. I can't do this. This is not for me. I can't have this life." The doctor said that I would grow to love the boys eventually.
Suddenly, I had more pain and there's some complications. Part of the placenta had gotten trapped in my womb and was causing issues. (In real life, I would not know anything of such things). I was kept in the hospital for longer and treated for some sort of infection.
Again, suddenly, I was back home. I was sitting in the front room by myself when my mother came from outside. She brought in two young dogs with her. She said "Your babies are loved and well taken care of. You have nothing to worry about. But I want you to have these dogs and love them as your sons". And I did. I felt overwhelming relief, joy and hope for the future. I took the dogs for a walk by a river and I felt the sun and soft wind on my skin, while I was still fragile from giving birth. But I felt extremely happy.
And then I woke up.
This dream felt like it went on for ages and it was so detailed and followed a certain "script" for so long. It truly made me feel like I had a glimpse into someone else's life. A soul sister somewhere far away. If you recognise yourself, I would like to hear from you.
by ihananakki