The government continues to release UFO info, and if one of these weeks they tell us aliens are real, there are some things those aliens need to know about people from New Jersey.
If Aliens Are Among Us In New Jersey, Here’s What They Need To Know
There has been no admission of 4-foot aliens living on Earth, but would any of us be surprised if the next UFO files dump included that information?
I wouldn’t, and when it comes to New Jersey, I’m more worried about the aliens meeting us than about us meeting them.
Photo by Danie Franco on Unsplash
Photo by Danie Franco on Unsplash
I have the feeling that some of the best weapons aliens have wouldn’t work on a New Jersey resident. Here are some examples:
The Reasons Aliens Aren’t Ready For New Jersey
Invasion – New Jersey residents are used to having our space invaded by out-of-towners. It happens every summer.
And here’s what the aliens need to know about New Jersey if they plan to invade. We have a 100% success record of getting the intruders out every fall.
Telepathy – Here’s some advice for the aliens. You’re better off talking to us the conventional way. Don’t play those stupid mind games, telepathic communication with us.
The main reason? Once you get into our minds, you’ll be forced to know what we’re really thinking. And that might scare you back to your home planet.
Digestive System – Hey aliens, three words for you – buffalo pizza slice. You’re not ready for Jersey pizza. Your taste buds might be, but your little pot-belly is not.
Our sausage and pepper sandwich would send you and all your little friends right out of the solar system.
Photo by Albert Antony on Unsplash
Photo by Albert Antony on Unsplash
Spaceship Driving – Your little space capsule most likely traveled hundreds of light-years without encountering another vehicle.
We promise you that it is not going to be your experience in a little place here in New Jersey, USA, Earth, we like to call the Garden State Parkway.
Money Exchange – I’m not sure what your currency is, but when you try to exchange your yoogles, drens, or whatever you call them, you might be unhappily surprised by the exchange rate.
In conclusion, we don’t have to worry about fighting off an alien invasion in New Jersey. They’ll leave on their own pretty quickly.
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Gallery Credit: Lou Russo
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Gallery Credit: Lou Russo